It feels weird to blog about something I have no experience with. I was not adopted, none of my current children were adopted and I don’t even have any family members that were adopted. I have a very good friend that was, as well as a couple of acquaintances that were. So basically, I know nothing. If you’re here for advice on adoption, just leave now. If you have experience with it…. Help!?
I have, however, been drawn to it for the last few years of my life. I would say that it’s always been in the back of my mind, or something that was fascinating to me, but for some reason the last few years have definitely been leading me down this road. I have been particularly drawn to adopting from the foster care system.
Years ago as I was working as a Concierge in the Club level of a luxury hotel, there was a guest staying with us who’s husband was very well known. They were in town for a tournament he was playing in and she stayed in the room all day, every day “working”. I was delivering things to her throughout the day and found myself in her room, chatting with her. She had paperwork everywhere and was engulfed in her laptop. She muttered something about trying to help one of her babies get adopted. She asked if I wanted to see pictures of all her babies. ALL her babies?! I thought. Ummmm…. “Sure!”. She pulled out an 8x10 photo that had about 20 little faces inside soft bubbles. Yes, I said 20. I went from shocked to confused to emotional all in a split second. She explained that she has taken in mostly crack addicted babies for years and helps place them in their forever homes. Crack addicted babies?! Oh, my. My heart dropped. She takes babies and toddlers into her home and has them anywhere from a few months to a couple of years. She began telling me stories of mothers that sign over their parental rights and some that work hard to turn their lives around so that they can have their babies back. She still has relationships with some of the babies she took care of that went on to be adopted. She told me that she will always feel like their mommy. They had a tummy mommy, they had her as a mommy and they have a forever mommy. More people to love them. So many more.
One day, something just clicked in my heart. I randomly read a few statistics somewhere about kids aging out of foster care and not having a family to help them navigate life or somewhere to go home for the holidays (although, I have been told that my state, California, has some great programs in place to assist these kids). I thought back to that woman in the hotel and all the kids she touched. I felt like I wanted to save all the kids. ALL. THE. KIDS. I wanted to do something for each and every one of them. I informed my husband that night that we will be adopting from foster care. Luckily, I have an amazing, compassionate and loving husband who has a heart as big as mine and is just about as crazy as I am. I can’t think of a time where I have come to him and said ‘I want to help _____’ and he has said ‘no’. He will play the devil’s advocate for a bit just to see if I have thought things through, but he ALWAYS comes back with “Let’s figure out how”. Love him.
When I get an idea, I get crazy. I started reading books on adoption, looking at websites, reading adoption blogs, pinning things to my adoption board on Pinterest and asking around. I wanted to know everything about it IMMEDIATELY. I even made my adopted friend go to lunch with me and tell me ALL about her adoption and her feelings surrounding it (Thank you, by the way, dear friend - for putting up with my crazy). I was obsessed. I wanted to adopt YESTERDAY.
One problem was… we had no space and no money to get more space. So, I did what I normally do when I decide to do something. I was a brainstorming machine. I was trying to think of how in the world we could come up with a ton of money super fast so that we could move into a bigger house and have space to take a child in. Should be easy, right? No problem (This is my crazy side). I seriously contemplated starting a GoFundMe page but then figured that would seem super shady - “Please give us your hard earned cash so that we can buy a huge new house so that we can adopt a child-in-need or several. We swear we’ll use the money for good. We swear we’ll follow through. Just trust us.”
Thing is, I believe that if you put something out into the universe and you keep your goals at the forefront of your thoughts every day, your dreams will become your reality. It will not be the way you thought it was going to happen. Like, not even close. Something will fall in your lap that you were not expecting and send you down a road that you were not prepared to travel. Go with it. Don’t just stroll though, pick up your bags and flippin’ run with it. If it feels right, put your whole heart in it and give it all you got. It is a gift that was given to you in order to get you closer to your dreams. Take the risk. Your dreams are worth it.
The thing that fell in my lap was a business that I was not pursuing and had absolutely no intention of running. I fully believe that this business has the ability to fulfill all of our dreams. If you told me a few years ago that I would be running this business and that it would be my catalyst to do everything I want to do in life, I would have dismissed you so hard. You know that ol’ Yiddish proverb - “We plan, God laughs.”
So, this adoption blog may sit empty for a bit, but don’t count it out. I’m still runnin’ down this road that plopped in front of me in order to get closer to my dreams. I’ll get there when the time is right.